I’ve been thinking of what I’d like to write about how we can love ourselves since it’s Valentine’s Day very soon. I kept waiting and hoping for some burst of inspiration for just the right thing to say. I told myself I’d write this post Saturday morning and that inspiration would totally strike before then…
But it’s Saturday morning and I’m writing this post and inspiration has not struck.
To be honest I don’t know a whole lot about loving myself. I mean, I know things but I’m not great at putting them into practice. How do you write about what you don’t really know well? So I thought, what do I know? I know how to love my friends well. That’s something I’m good at. So it occurred to me to think about how I love them and see if I can apply those same concepts to me. Here are some of the ways that I love my friends:
I like them.
I choose to spend time with people that I like. Their sense of humor, the way they look at the world from a different perspective, their compassion and empathy. That got me thinking…do I like me? What do I like about me? I’m going to spend more time thinking about this and discovering what I like about me.
I check in with them.
I have friendships where we only keep in touch rarely and ones where we talk every day. Either way, I make it a point to check in with my friends. But do I check in with myself? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been busy, busy, busy and then discover that all of a sudden I’m starving! I never noticed that I was getting hungry because I didn’t stop to check in with myself. I can for sure do a better job at checking in with me.
I make time for them.
Even when things are busy or I am overwhelmed I will almost always make time for a friend.Even if it’s just a quick text to say I’m thinking of you. They are a priority in my life. I do not do this for me. I am always thinking of others’ needs before mine and I get the leftovers (if there are any). I need to put what I need at the top of the list and make more time for me.
I hold them accountable.
Most often this is me telling my friends how awesome they are and that they’re not giving themselves enough credit. But sometimes it means calling them out or reminding them of a goal they’re working on. I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t support them in making changes and becoming a better version of themselves. But that does not include beating them up or constantly criticizing them like I do to myself. I can hold myself accountable with the love and kindness that I offer to my friends instead of harness and criticism.
I celebrate them.
I love any excuse to get together and cook some food for my friends. I look for reasons to celebrate them and if I can’t find something I might make something up! I can definitely work on doing more of this for me too. Cooking myself good food, laughing and making time to do things I enjoy just because.
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
Buddha
As it turns out, this post has been really helpful in understanding ways that I can love myself better. I know that at the end of the day I can’t give something I don’t have. More love for me means I’ll have more love to share with others. I’m going to focus on really nurturing my relationship with me using these principles. It’s time I spend more time loving…
