For me, New Year’s is a time of reflection. I often take time to think about the year that has passed and what I want for the future. This hasn’t always been the case though. For a long time I always looked at the new year as only a time to set a new year’s resolution. (I’ve given up on those but that’s another post…) Honestly it kind of caused me a lot of stress, always focusing on what needed to get done, how I wanted to grow, where I was going in the future. I put a lot of pressure on myself thinking that way.
I think it was in a therapy session that I started to realize how backward this way of thinking was. I remember encouraging a client to stop and notice how much progress they had made so far. I used the analogy of a mountain to illustrate the concept. (I’ve shared this before, but hey, repetition is a great way to learn right?) Imagine you’re climbing a mountain, I said. Often it seems that no matter how hard you’ve worked the top feels just so far away! What if we took a break and sat down and got some water…and then looked back at how far we’ve come! I don’t know about you but when I do this I’m often surprised at how much progress I’ve made.
It was a light bulb moment for me (I don’t know about my client though.) It occurred to me that with this mindset that I often have of always pushing forward and being better, stronger, kinder, that maybe I’m not giving myself enough credit. I mean I do want to be better and stronger and kinder for sure! And I will keep creating goals for myself that push me toward those things. But now I also make sure that once in a while I stop, take a break and see just how far I’ve come.
Life can only be understood backwards but it must be lived forwards.
Søren Kierkegaard
This year in particular I feel that it is even more important than ever that I stop and take stock of where I’ve been. I don’t know about you, but New Year’s Eve last year feels like it was a century ago! I’ve been through so much and come so far. So much struggle, so much heartache, and so much growth and change. The world is almost unrecognizable from the world I lived in a year ago. Social distancing, a worldwide pandemic, therapy/school online and now a vaccine. Things have changed significantly this year.
And for me….a new business. I hardly recognize the world that I live in, let alone myself. I’ve started a blog this year, started a business, quit my agency job and now I’m working for me. My therapist suggested that I write a letter to myself. He said I should include all my fears and doubts as well as my reflections on how far I’ve come this year. He suggested that I read it again a year from now. Because I’m so forgetful I was thrilled with the idea of putting it with my Christmas decorations. So next year when I decorate the tree again I’ll find that letter!
I want to invite you to do something similar. I hope that with this new year you’ll take some time to sit down on that mountain that you’re climbing and reflect back on just how far you’ve come. I hope you’ll see your challenges and struggles as opportunities for growth, although probably painful ones, and I hope you’ll give yourself all the credit you deserve. I hope that while you rest you can pat yourself on the back and tell yourself you’ve done the best that you could. I hope that before you get up and start climbing that mountain once again you find hope, peace and joy as you…
