My family, like many others, got sick and ended up in quarantine. It just so happened that when my kids were able to get back on track, the school went into remote learning for two weeks. My kids had been stuck at home for two and a half weeks when my son texts me to say he has to get out of the house or else! He decides he wants to go to the botanical garden. In January. He wants to go to the botanical garden in January. But…I want to support him so we make plans to go.
In case you didn’t pick up on this, I did not want to go to the botanical garden in the middle of winter. So while I wasn’t dreading this little trip I can’t say I was particularly looking forward to it either. Early that morning I was lying in my warm bed, waking up slowly and resting. I was thinking about the things I needed to do. I needed to get up and start getting ready. That thought was not particularly motivating and I wasn’t really keen on getting out of my warm bed. After a while I shifted my focus to thinking of reasons I might want to get out of bed. It turned out there were a few reasons that getting out of bed sounded like a good idea (like visiting the bathroom) and all of a sudden it was easier to get up and get going. Because I wanted to.
That got me thinking about the trip to the botanical gardens. I still was not particularly looking forward to being outside in the middle of winter but there were some things that I did want:
I do want to spend time with my family.
I do want to have an adventure with my kids.
I do want to honor my son for advocating for himself and what he needs.
I do want to get out of the house and get a change of scenery.
This small shift in thinking got me thinking about our plans in a completely different light. And as it turns out our trip to the botanical garden was a great adventure and I’m so glad we went!
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands but in seeing with new eyes.
Marcel Proust
I am excited to try this concept out in more areas of my life. Do I want to go grocery shopping? Not particularly. But I do want to have food in the house this week. And grocery shopping is a great way to make sure that happens. Now grocery shopping feels more like an opportunity than a frustrating thing to check off of my perpetual to-do list.
Like anything, if this mindset comes from a place of obligation it’s not likely to work. If I get mad at myself or feel like I should be doing or thinking differently I’m just adding more negativity to my life, not less. At least for me, the “have-tos” are rarely motivating or helpful. But if I can be curious and open to other alternatives maybe I can discover ways of thinking that will make my day to day tasks easier. Instead of thinking about chores, responsibilities and obligations I can start to focus on what it is that I really…
