So much of our day to day internal experience is based on our thoughts. Recently I’ve been practicing meditation. It blows me away how often my thoughts get racing and how hard it is to get them back on track! And that’s when I’m actually paying attention! I’m working on noticing how often that happens throughout the day, and frankly it’s kind of overwhelming. The thing is that our thoughts are so powerful! If we can choose ones that work for us our lives can be so much easier right?
I mean how often do you hear someone say, “well look at it like this…” Often in therapy I help people to consider other ways to look at their experiences. For example, in New Mexico we’re under a stay at home order right now. I can either be upset about being stuck in the house or I can think about how much money I’m saving in gas! But how do we go from, “this is awful” to “wow, I’m saving a lot of money right now!” if we don’t really believe that?
Maybe.
We can practice thinking, “maybe it’s great that I’m saving a lot of money on gas.” Or, “maybe this stay at home order is a great chance for me to get the house cleaned up.” Or, “maybe I really needed a break and this is a blessing in disguise.”
When we don’t quite believe the new thought that we’re trying to adopt “maybe” can be a great way to get there. I’m participating in the Be Bold coaching program (which is fantastic by the way) and Jody Moore and her sister and Natalie Clay teach this concept in their work (I highly recommend this free podcast!). If I’m really upset that I can’t leave the house but what I want to believe is it’s a blessing, then I can challenge my own thoughts. It could go something like this:
“I hate being stuck in the house! But…maybe I’m getting a chance to do things I never really get time for…..Ugh! No! I just hate being stuck in the house. Yeah, that stinks. But maybe it’s going to turn out to be really great. You know…..just maybe.”
(Yes, this is what it actually sounds like being in my head in case you were wondering…)
Consider this:
“Until you change your mind and thinking, you will always recycle your experiences.”
Sourav Barman
I find that I can’t really force myself into thinking new thoughts. Plus, I don’t like myself much when I try. Instead, I try to be validating and kind and gentle with myself and others by thinking just…
