I received a lovely text from a friend for Mother’s Day that said: “Happy Mother’s Day to a great mom.” It was sweet and kind. So why is it that the next day I start obsessing over it and I’m second guessing the text? Here are some of the thoughts running through my head:
“Did she really mean it?”
“Was she just being nice?”
“Does she even really know me? Because if she did she couldn’t possibly mean that….could she?”
I don’t know about you, but when the crazy in my head starts to get really loud I reach out to someone else. Preferably someone who also struggles with the same type of crazy as me. (Believe me, when you find someone in your life who is the same flavor of crazy that you are you must hold on to them! They are a secret weapon in the war against the darkness! But, I digress…) So I texted someone and in the discussion that followed I learned a few things.
First off, I’m not alone in thinking like this (and you’re not either if your brain also drives this crazy train). Second, and this is a direct quote: “your thoughts challenge anything that doesn’t agree with them.” Isn’t that the truth? I mean, if this kind friend of mine said “Happy Mother’s Day to a slightly crazy, sometimes scattered and outspoken mom” I would have totally believed it. That statement wouldn’t have challenged me and possibly would not have triggered the crazy train sequence. But “Happy Mother’s day to a great mom”, now that’s not something I’m sure I can believe today.
Quite a bit of the therapeutic work I’m doing right now in my own life is working to not to believe my thoughts just because they’re in my brain. I tend to think that because I had a thought then it must be true. Sometimes my thoughts are brilliant and I absolutely want to listen to them. Other times not so much. One of my favorite singer/songwriters put this beautifully:
“I know I’m not my thoughts
But my thoughts don’t know that yet
Sometimes I try to sneak up on the voice inside my head”
Ariel Bloomer of Icon for Hire, song: Hollow
That’s where I’m at. Trying to sneak up on the “voice inside my head.” Ariel Bloomer also gave an epic TED Talk called “How to Lovingly Hack Your Brain” where she talks about babysitting your thoughts. That’s what I need to do. But in my case babysitting is not a solo sport. I need to reach out to the people in my life to help me challenge and question these thoughts. Because hey, maybe at the end of the day I am a “great mom” even if I don’t always believe it in my…
