dream

I started this blog as a way of giving back. I imagined that I would teach concepts here that I teach when I’m doing therapy and in that way I could be helping to improve people’s lives even if they’re not my clients. I enjoy thinking of what concepts I teach in therapy that I can translate into a blog post…doing blogging and social media has become like a new hobby for me.

But today instead of sharing something that will hopefully be meaningful to you, I’m going to share something that is meaningful to me…(and hopefully it’s meaningful to you as well). About 11 years ago I became a single mom. I had four awesome kids and we were all struggling. Like really struggling. I tried to find a job but had very little luck. I tried to start a daycare and that didn’t take either. I went on ONE job interview after a year of searching and they chose someone else. I decided the only thing left to do was to go back to school. So in 2012 I made the decision to finish my Bachelor’s program and try for a Master’s Degree in Social Work. My therapist told me I’d be a great social worker and since I was a teenager all I wanted was to give back. So I got signed up for an online program and away I went.

“The only thing worse than starting something and failing … is not starting something.”

Seth Godin

Within two weeks of starting school full-time as a single mom I got a call from that one job interview. The person they hired didn’t work out so did I want the job? NO! Yes! Now I had a full-time job and I was going to school online while raising four kids on my own. To say those were hard years is a HUGE understatement. I finished my Bachelor’s program in 2013 and went straight to the University of Southern California Virtual Academic Center for my Master’s Degree in social work and finished it in 2016.

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”

Harriet Tubman

From the beginning the plan was private practice. I knew from the start that the end goal was that someday I wanted to work for myself doing therapy. Sometimes when we look back at our lives we can see moments that ended up being pivotal. Less often we might realize that we’re living through one while it’s happening. I am living through a pivotal moment as I type and it’s overwhelming in its intensity. This post will go live during my last week at my agency job. I’ll take a week off for Thanksgiving and then I will be a FULL-TIME PRIVATE PRACTICE CLINICIAN. Just like I dreamed of all those years ago. If someone would have told me that it would take less than ten years to go from my life falling apart to literally living my dream I’d never have believed them.

…..wow…..

I often talk to clients about our journey being like climbing a mountain. If you’re always looking forward to how much farther you have to go it feels never ending. But, if you occasionally sit down and take a break you can look back at how far you’ve come. When you recognize how far you’ve already come, then the rest of the journey to the top might not seem so far away after all. So this is me practicing what I preach. I’m sitting down to reflect on just how far I’ve come over these past ten or so years. I am so thankful for what I’ve learned along the way. I’m so glad that I didn’t give up when I couldn’t find a job. I’m so glad that I pushed through those student years even when everything went to pieces. I am so glad that I worked for an awesome agency and learned so much about how to do this trauma work that I love so dearly. (Thanks All Faith’s, I wouldn’t be here today without you!)  I am so glad that I did years of therapy so that I could be in a healthier and better place for myself, my family and my clients.

I am making an effort to show up in my life, to really show up. To show up in the messy and in the triumph and to notice it all. So today I notice that my dreams are actually really and completely coming true. It’s not at all like a fairy tale where everything is tied up in a pretty bow and you live happily ever after. It’s harder and more difficult and more amazing then I could have imagined. But I am so grateful that I was brave enough to imagine it. I am so grateful for family and friends and people who believed in me along the way. I am grateful that I never gave up even though I wanted to.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

Elanor Roosevelt

We all need dreams. I hope that you have one or if you don’t that you’ll take courage and seek one out. Nothing is more powerful and worth working for than a…

dream

–