If you know me you know I love books! Like love them! I read every single day. Sometimes I read multiple books at once, you know like an old book to help me sleep…a new book I can only read on the weekends (because I’ll never go to bed on time otherwise) and then one that I’m listening to on audio in my car. I actually have a bumper sticker that says, “Shh! I’m listening to an audio book”….true story.
I’m trying something new though. I’m actually “journaling” a book right now. I’ve read Untamed already twice, and by read I mean listened to in my car. I got this brilliant idea that I’d listen to it again, but this time I’d take time to stop between chapters and journal some of my thoughts and reflections. My daughter, who loves books and self reflection as much as I do, has joined me in this fun new adventure.
I just listened to the chapter called “dragons.” In this chapter Glennon talks about things we’ve never spoken aloud, maybe even things that we don’t even admit to ourselves. She uses an analogy of a snow globe that hides a dragon in the middle when it’s all shook up.
We keep ourselves shaken up because there are dragons at our center.
Glennon Doyle
This got me thinking about what I do to keep myself shook up and what’s hiding in the middle? Recently I’ve noticed I have to always be busy. If I’m driving I’m also listening to music or it’s too quiet. If I’m watching TV I’m also doing a cross stitch project or playing a game on my phone. I’m constantly multi tasking and I have no idea how to do nothing. I’ve tried. It was so uncomfortable that I started doing something else right away to get away from that feeling.
When we numb out our feelings with drugs or alcohol or overeating we often can recognize that it’s a problem. But when we numb by doing…especially if what we’re doing is productive then how is that a problem? (I mean, those cute little cupcakes that I’m cross stitching are going to be adorable Christmas ornaments that will bring joy to others for many years to come…) It can be much harder to recognize behaviors that we’re using to keep ourselves shook up if they are productive or maybe even beneficial.
I noticed recently that I was working too much. It was hard to recognize because the more sessions I do the more people I help and the more I make to provide for my family right? Well, yes, but also then the more tired I am and the more quickly I burn out and maybe I’m short changing my clients and for sure short changing my family and my health. What is the dragon in the middle that I’m trying to avoid by staying so busy?
When it comes to facing old traumas I often tell clients that they’ve already survived it. The hardest part is over. When we overcome a trauma we become dragon slayers! Looking at it again is not easy but it will not be as hard as it was to survive it the first time. This is what I will tell myself when I feel the need to hurry and do and hustle…that whatever dragon is there in the middle can be overcome. Not by staying busy, not in the hustle, but if I give myself a chance to get…
