I’ve been working through some scarcity in how I’ve been thinking recently. I’ve been noticing how hard it can be for me to show up in a genuine and real way in many areas of my life. I do really well at that at work and at home. It occurs to me then…no wonder home and work are my favorite places to me! It’s where I’m most me.
It’s a great thing to recognize this and to see that’s what I’m doing. But that doesn’t help me with figuring out what to do about it! Yes, I can see that I’m playing small in my life. And yes, I want to show up more fully in all aspects of my life. But how to do it? That’s the real question isn’t it?
Normally I write blog posts about things that I’m familiar and comfortable with. Not this time! This is me trying to figure it out and sharing it with you as I go! So here are the steps I’m going to try:
First, get to know the “real me” so I’ll recognize her when she shows up. And I’ll recognize when I’m being fake. One thing that has really helped me get to know myself better is the motivational interviewing card sort (This link explains how to do it if you’re interested!). This is an exercise to help you identify your most important values. I highly recommend it. I do it every year or so.
Second, really pay attention, I need to notice when I’m showing up as the most authentic and true version of myself and when I’m staying small in an attempt to stay safe. It’s really important to do this without judgment, without getting upset with myself for choosing to play small. Just notice it when it happens.
Third, notice what it’s like to be small or to truly show up. How do I feel? Better? Worse? How do others respond to me? How do I respond to myself? What’s it like to truly show up? As my full, vibrant, unapologetic self? Do I like that better? What do I do? What do I say, how do I feel, what am I thinking?
I am sure that it will be scary and hard to really start showing up in a more real and genuine way. But if my experiences at home and work are anything to go by it will also be exhilarating, exciting and a huge relief!
Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable but they’re never weakness.
Brené Brown
Showing up as me (truly and completely me) is like coming up for air after being underwater. I hope you’ll join me in this journey toward authentic self expression. Truly, no one benefits when we choose to stay…
