It’s been quite a week this week! I ran head-first into some real struggles in my business and I’ve been overwhelmed with trying to grow and move forward. I was really struggling to find my way and show up to allow and release emotions. It took me a while to realize that I was in a funk. Thankfully I’ve spent a lot of time getting to know myself and I can recognize when I’m slipping into a dark place. Here were some of my warning signs: I stopped wanting to spend time with my kids after work and I just wanted to go to bed. I was starting to get pretty pessimistic. I started to complain a lot and stopped feeling joyful, grateful and energized.
Once I recognized that I was in a dark place I started to think about how I might reset. Talking to friends is normally a great coping skill for me but it wasn’t quite cutting it this time. Then I remembered that last year I spent a year making a playlist that really defines and represents me. Recently I’ve been working on another playlist about self-doubt and facing your fears and I’d forgotten about that other playlist. I was desperate to feel grounded and “me” again so I decided to give that other list a try. It helped! I was like, “Oh I love this song! Yes, this is who I want to be!” It was such a healing and grounding experience and it reminded me of who I really am. It got me thinking about how we all need to find a way back to ourselves when we struggle.
My coach Jody Moore talked about this in her Better Than Happy Bootcamp. She talked about needing a “tether” as a way to connect ourselves to what matters most to us. She says that we need to have a philosophy or belief that we can use to measure the things that we learn about or take in to make sure it’s in alignment with who we are. I just read Untamed by Glennon Doyle and she talks about touch trees. (If you haven’t read this book yet….why not??? It’s fantastic!) In her book she talks about needing to remind ourselves of who we really are. She says that she would write notes to her happy self or depressed self as a way to stay connected. It’s so easy to lose track of where we used to be and to start thinking that this moment in time is the only one that counts. Another book I absolutely love is Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown. (Again…if you haven’t read it…DO!) She talks about how we have to strike out on our own path and find our way.
There will be times when standing alone feels too hard, too scary, and we’ll doubt our ability to make our way through the uncertainty. Someone, somewhere will say ‘Don’t do it. You don’t have what it takes to survive the wilderness.’ This is when you reach deep into your wild heart and remind yourself…I am the wilderness.”
Brené Brown
I think for a minute there I started to get lost in that wilderness. I started to think maybe it would be better to just give up and go back to the way things have always been. Growth and change is hard and overwhelming. I was tired and feeling like giving up. This time it was the playlist that brought me back to myself. Sometimes it’s reconnecting with family or friends who love me and know who I am and who I am striving to become. Sometimes it’s journaling and reading older things that I wrote. Another way could be to create a vision board or some type of visual representation of our goals. This can help up by reminding us where we want to go and help us stay on the right track. Anything that reminds you that you are strong and amazing and that you are working toward something that matters can work.
When you’re in a good place and you’re feeling strong and powerful create an anchor for yourself that you can return to when things get hard. Something that reminds you why you’re taking this step, why you even started this journey to begin with! Of course we’re going to struggle. And if you’re committed to self-awareness and growth like I am then you may struggle often. The struggle is the sign that we’re changing and evolving. Just make sure that if you fall off the path or start to get lost in the darkness that you can always come back to your…
